Oral Hygiene Queen

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Location: Midwest, United States

I floss daily, brush after every meal, and trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries.

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A Few Quick Questions for the Universe

1. Why, despite the fact that 95% of my pants/shorts/skirts are black, dark grey, brown, or dark red, do I always seem to get my period on a day that I'm wearing off-white capris or powder-blue cords?

2. How is it that in the afternoon I can have a tender moment of appreciating the fact that my bonny almost two-year-old daughter still nurses, then in the darkest hours of that same night she can appear to me to be a little blood-sucking parasite because she still nurses?

3. Why is it that my six-year-old son can remember everything he learned about the life-cycle of a bee last year in kindergarten, but still can't remember to wash his hands after he pees despite being told seventeen times every single day for the past three years?

4. When are they going to perfect teleporting technology so that I can spend more time with my loved ones who live way too far away?

5. How can it be that I love teaching so much that I'm always going on about how much I love teaching, yet I love not teaching so much more that I always get a little heartsick at the end of August?

6. Will my desk ever remain clean for more than two days?