Oral Hygiene Queen

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Location: Midwest, United States

I floss daily, brush after every meal, and trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries.

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Friday, April 16, 2010

Am I a Bitch?

My sister-in-law is pregnant. I'm excited for O. and Roo to have their first cousin. And I'm happy for my sis-in-law and her husband, who are understandably really psyched to be having a kid.

But I'm sick of hearing about it.

I'm sick of hearing every detail of every single doctor's visit, I'm sick of hearing about every pregnancy-related symptom my sister-in-law has, I'm sick of hearing in detail about her shifting moods and about the jerk who remained seated on the subway while she stood for her whole commute, I'm sick of hearing about every damned craving she has. Really, cravings? What is this, 1958? This woman has a full-time job.

Okay, let me just say that she is in the beginning of her second trimester. How the hell is the poor guy on the subway even supposed to know he's refusing to give up his seat for a woman undergoing the beautiful mystery of gestation?

If we were close, I would not mind hearing lots of detail about her pregnancy. I might still think it was weird for her to email me a copy of every single ultrasound picture she's received to date (which she has), but I'd be happy to listen to her talk about this stuff. It's exciting, I know. I'm totally into the whole pregnancy thing. Yes, it is beautiful, it is a mystery, and there's this new life being created, and blahdy blah blah. Yes!

But we are not close. At all. I am close to my other sister-in-law, but not so much my pregnant sister-in-law. We have a perfectly civil relationship, and I wish her well. But, no I don't want to join the baby pool (as I was invited via email to do today). What the hell is a baby pool? Aside from a little plastic trough that tots wade in?

I blame it partly on facebook. This is a woman who updates her status about eleven times a day, on average. (And that's not even an exaggeration.) And these days 95% of her status updates are pregnancy-related, either explicitly or implicitly. (Cravings, anyone?) So when I get an email or a phone call with details about the pregnancy or the baby, I'm already kind of saturated.

Am I an asshole for not opening the newest set of ultrasound photos? I mean, I'll be totally into seeing the baby once she or he is actually out of the womb, I swear! But at this point, I'm more than happy to wait.