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Location: Midwest, United States

I floss daily, brush after every meal, and trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries.

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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

What the Fecking Heck?

After fifteen hours of driving, most of it through torrential rain in Pennsylvania, we arrived at my in-laws' Jersey shore home yesterday. O. was greeted with great joy by his excited grandparents and adoring aunt. My Old Man and I both slept in this morning (woo hoo!). Soon after I finally spilled out of bed, as I made my way to the bathroom, I heard the my boy's voice echoing up the stairs. "What the hell?" he was exclaiming in the dulcet tones of an indignant toddler.

"Hell" - not so bad. At least he got through the whole "shit in the buttocks" phase before we made this trip. Given that I swear like a sailor and the Old Man swears like a syphilitic sailor on a twelve-hour shore leave, we're lucky he's not busting out blue streaks left and right. Still, we've been trying to get him to drop the word "hell" in preparation for the extended visit to the East Coast grandparents.

A couple of days before we left, my Old Man was reminding him that "grown-ups say 'hell' and kids say 'heck.'" O. had an admission to make: "Daddy, when I'm in the kitchen and you and Mama are in the living room, I say 'Hell yes!' But when you and Mama come in the kitchen I say 'Heck yes!'"

I appreciate his honesty. And I'm trying not to get too bummed that at three my kid is already exclaiming "Hell yes!" when his parents leave the room. I guess we should be happy that we at least get a "Heck yes!" when we return.


Blogger Feral Mom said...

I think M. said "Hell's Bells" today. Where do these kids today get this stuff? Hell, when did I start saying "hell's bells?" Kee-rist, I'm old.

8:34 PM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

This is so funny- and also because of my own post today.
Last year my younger daughter placed her hands on her hips and stated, "It's DAMN hot outside." I do like that she at least uses it appropriately. Kudos to O. as well.

8:40 PM  
Blogger E. said...

Hells bells and little fishes!

Sometimes my Old Man says "Golly Gee Whillickers!" in a blatant attempt to avoid saying "Fuck yeah!" or "What the fuck?" in O's presence. Recently O. came to me and said "Mama, can kids say 'Golly Gee Whillickers'?" Yes, Virginia, they can.

9:11 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

At least he's not saying, "Fuck, yeah!"...yet.

I am simultaneously horrified and delighted when Viva imitates my outbursts. My favorite, although it is excruciatingly embarrassing, is when she says, "What in the WORLD?" because she sounds like an 85-year-old woman when she says it. Which means I must sound like an 85-year-old woman when I say it. Which is kind of horrifying.

Good on you for sleeping in! Hell, yeah!

9:10 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Aw, crap, two "lisa" posters in a row...I'm boredhousewife, just so's ya know. :)

Once I busted out an outraged, "Fartknockers!!!" As a last minute save for "fuck", and my boys think that is the funniest word they've EVER heard. They also somehow "get" the difference between grown-up talk and kid talk. I have sailor mouth disease too.

Anywho. I hope you are having a wondrous time with the in-laws. Joisey rocks.

7:58 PM  
Blogger Orange said...

Ben's kindergarten classmates were prone to ratting him out to the teacher...for saying "what the heck." Perhaps these kids had never heard "heck" and assumed it was worse than "hell" and "fuck"? Heck, it does sound like a blend of those two words, doesn't it?

These days, Ben tends to use the "Jesus Christ!" exclamation. I'm starting to advise him that it's a grown-up exclamation that kids oughtn't use—but it does crack me up.

8:55 AM  

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