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Location: Midwest, United States

I floss daily, brush after every meal, and trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries.

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Thursday, June 22, 2006

Party at Chez Feral

Recipe for the Perfect Kids' Birthday Party:

Mix a roughly equal proportion of wisecracking adults and adorable kids. Allow children to scamper freely and remove clothes to taste. Add liberal amounts of beer and wine. Throw in two homemade pastel birthday cakes for the kiddies and one sinfully rich chocolate cake from the local upscale bakery for the adults. Set aside party favors and magician for a different recipe. Stir children and adults in varying combinations for four to five hours. Add a bath for the birthday girls, throwing an additional small guest or two into the water for good measure; remove when pruney. Fold in an impromptu blues trio of two kids and an adult and simmer until it forms a quartet. Strain out happy guests when kids begin to droop. Knead sulky feline as he emerges from the shadows. Tuck freshly bathed newly-two-year-olds into a bed of crisp linen. Dim lights as the remaining pair of parents sneak off to the basement to continue the party.


Blogger Dawn said...


I envy you all Greatly. Do you want to drive to Montreal?

6:08 AM  
Blogger E. said...

Oh, Smokey and I go way back. I knew him when he was a handsome young tom with a devil-may-care swagger, before he had to compete with feral human spawn.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Feral Mom said...

My favorite part of this recipe is "knead sulky feline as he emerges from the shadows." Sulky feline, indeed.
It was indeed a great party--I'm so glad you, your old man and O. could make it!

Hell yes, Dawn, we'll drive to Montreal. When is the party?

12:59 PM  
Blogger Kelstar said...

Sounds like a good time was had by all!

10:02 PM  
Blogger Esereth said...

Quit trying to force my out of my funk by suggesting the pleasure in my life might continue after I give birth. Can't you see how hard I'm working at feeling sorry for myself?

8:36 AM  
Blogger E. said...

Oh Esereth, it will be a blast! And a giant stressful pain in the ass! (I'm a poet, I know it, I hope I don't blow it - name that Dylan tune). Go read
Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year. She demonstrates how even when the shit is hitting the fan, life with baby is joyful and often hilarious. (And she's a single mom, so she has more on her plate than those of us with co-parents to help us along.) Good to hear from you.

10:41 AM  

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