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Location: Midwest, United States

I floss daily, brush after every meal, and trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries.

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Friday, March 28, 2008

Not Safe for Work, Apparently

I am in my office, pumping milk from my pornstar-full left breast into my little handy Avent manual breastpump - where you'll find me every weekday during my seventh period free period. Busy-as-hell working mom that I am, I am multitasking. I am pumping with my left hand and checking my email with my right, scrolling through long work-related messages trying to figure out if I'm required to respond, scanning messages from the various lists I'm on trying to decide whether to delete without reading or save to possibly read in some imaginary future where I will have more time. I am so engrossed in my email triage that I fill my little Avent pump beyond its "full" level, so that when I set it down the creamy milk that has risen to the top begins to leak all over my desk. Before I'm able to grab something absorbent, that milk begins to make its way down the slight incline of my desk, over the edge, and into my slightly-ajar desk drawer.

Egad. I have inadvertently creamed my drawers.


Blogger Orange said...

Hah! Good one.

Why is it that I can no longer see "Oral Hygiene Queen" without hearing it sung by Billy Ocean? (This has nothing to do with your post today.)

1:28 PM  
Blogger Rayne of Terror said...

You are crazy funny, woman.

5:35 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...


You are too adorable for words, woman!!!

7:17 PM  
Blogger LetterB said...

Ha! As Diego would say "¬°Excelente!"

To bad they had to be creamed WITH LIQUID GOLD. I find myself cradling my bottles of the stuff muttering "precious, my preeeecious."

8:10 PM  
Blogger E. said...

Liquid gold. Totally. I had a nightmare where I pumped a full 5 oz, then immediately spilled the whole thing. I was so relieved when I woke up and it wasn't true.

2:17 PM  

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