Fart or Butt Burp?

My little son O. farts, like the rest of us, and as anyone with kids knows the small folks’ farts can be almost as deadly as our own. Yesterday he let out a loud one and when I laughed (of course – what a role model) and asked if he farted he said “No, my butt burped.” I was beside myself. Later I told my husband about it and we both laughed. Then, last night, we were all in O’s room getting him ready for bed and suddenly the air was full of the evil stench of an ass-bomb. “Is that you?” my beloved partner asked me, face screwed up in disgust. “Not me,” I said. We turned to O. “Did your butt burp?” I asked. “No,” he said, “I farted.”

Then I saw the brilliant distinction our young prodigy had arrived at. It’s always been my contention that loud farts are innocent, while the silent ones are invariably noxious (hence the term “silent but deadly”). Really, we should have come up with two distinct terms by this point in the evolution of the English language. The loud, friendly fart is more of a “butt burp,” as O. terms it, while the quiet, burn-your-anus-hairs kind is worthy of the term fart. Or maybe worthy of a term that better reflects its insidious nature.

Any ideas? (And does anyone know of another language that provides diverse vocabulary to describe different kinds of farts, varied as Inuit snow?)